| Sad |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|01:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
Ok, so once in a long while, I maybe hook up with someone, nothing special really. Maybe I get to make out with her, but thats about all. Prblem is, I don't want to just hook with people. I want a real relationship. I'm only 19 years old I know, but I just want more out of life than the occasional "Hit and Quit it" thing. All my friends live by that rule, but not me. I want someone I can really have a nice conversation with, and not feel like the only one who knows whats going on.
I've been alone for a while now, and I absolutely hate. Most girl's I see out there are sluty. Dress in shirts so low cut, you can see nipple, skirts so low you don't need a "hidden cam" to see up them. I don't like these kind of people. I don't girls dressing crazy and, just don't treat your body like shit. Have some self respect by saying, "I dress like this, but don't get on me." |
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| MILF HUNTER |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|03:05 am] |
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Just call me the MILF HUNTER. Tonight I hooked up with a 30 year old chick at a party. She was fuckin hot as hell to. You don't find to many hot people over 30 these days, but she deffinitly was one of them. Friends will even tell you that. |
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| Pissed |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|03:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
I was just laying in my bed and got extremely pissed off. I broke up with someone a couple weeks ago, and I admit that I had done it the wrong way. I said a couple things that shouldn't of been said, but I admited that to her already. What pissed me off is how my best friend (girl) is taking her side, and they don't even know eachother that much. They've seen eachother 2ice their whole lives. They met 1 week ago, and then again last night. I am very pissed now that this happeneing. All because of this damn break up, I feel like im going to lose one of my best friends.
The biggest drama came when I should up to a party with the girl I am now dating, and my ex was there as well. Thats I became pissed. I had almost the whole party talking to these people, rather than with the girl. Can we say "AWKWARD!!!" not to mention after the talks, I bassically let my ex punch me in the gut a few times, and then she wouldn't stop throwing this burrito at me. Once hitting me in the groin. |
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| Smoking |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|09:46 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo | ] |
So I've stoped smoking Weekd, but now I smoke SALVIA. It's not as good, but it can at times be better, and the great thing is that its completely legal. YAY!!!!
I'll sare if you want. HEHE... |
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| im back |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|01:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pink Floyd- Money | ] |
Look everyone im finally back. My life is finally starting to be good for once, so I thought I should share with the world.
I started this whole family therapy thing and we found the root of all my problems. My DAD. Apperantly his many years of abuse has basicaly given me no self esteam, and thats why I have problems dating girls. The problem is that I never did. I've had only girlfriends my entire 19 years of life. Sux huh.
Anyway life is starting to pick up. I'm in a band now. I'm the bassist. We play metal. ONLY METAL!!! Thats the only way to go. I'll get back to you on other stuff soon. |
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| Relationships |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|11:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
So got back into this old relationship that I had back when I was 15 years old. Back then we were immature morons.
I decided to give it another shot here since we're older now, and more mature. I realize that around all my friends, I don't act even remotely mature, but I am. I was hoping that we would be able to do a lot better now than we did back then since we've grown now. Apparantly I was a bit wrong. It seems a lot harder now than it did back then. A LOT harder. I really don't know what to do anymore. I really want to stay with her to see if anything will happen with us. We've only been together for a short while. It just doesn't seem like it will last. She does all the calling. Calling me and stuff. And then I drive out there. She drives out here too, but never alone. If I want to be a lone with her, I have to do the driving, and its a long drive. I can't afford the gas. I have no job right now.
Being is this relationship is starting to take a lot out of me. All healthy relationships have their arguments. If you don't argue, than theres something wrong with you. But the problem is that whenever we do argue, she just hangs up. She doesn't even say bye or anything. She just hangs up on me. With me, that unfogivable. I don't like being hung up on. Not only that, but I've never given a girl a second chance with before either, but I gave her one because we had something.
I really don't know what to do anymore. If anyone has any advice, let me know ok. |
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| Funny |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|12:12 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | L.A.O.- Throwing Knives | ] |
Funny thing happened to my friend David. HIS BAND BROKE UP!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
I'm so fucking mean I love it. |
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| DAMN IT!!! |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|06:56 pm] |
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STUPID MOTHER FUCKING COUNTER STRIKE WON'T CONNECT.. DAMN IP ADDRESS IS GAY HERE. |
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| Change...Weird |
[Feb. 10th, 2005|01:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
I've only been in College for about 4 days now, and im already feeling a change in me. Its kinda weird. When I was walking down the halls, I though to myself, "Holy shit, im in College."
I always wanted myself too go to college, but for some reason, never actually saw myself there. Now that I do go, I completely love it. I love the whole experiance. Its nothing like High school at, unlike what my brother told me. There aren't like, huge groups of popular, and then nerds skatered around the campus. Its not super loud either. You walk down the halls and sometimes run into old friends, see an occansinal group or 2, who are willing to actually talk to you rather than ignore you. And its quiet. I love that its so quiet there. You don't hear nois all over the place.
It's such a change from the stuff I grew up with. I love this change. I've never been the person who was afraid of change. I accept the stuff, and work with it. But is something so different its almost calming. Weird isn't it. |
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| College |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|01:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
So today is going to be my first day of College. One problem. I can't seem to get to sleep, so now im writing in here. Guess my first day won't go so great. Ohh well, shit happens.
Eagles lost, WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! But hey, I still won $5 on the coin toss. Hurray for me BITCH'S. |
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| Life is Miserable. |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|11:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | and Determined | ] |
My parents through me out of the house tonight. Instead of going to stay at someone els home like most people would do, I went out and found my brother, and spoke to him. I told him everything that happened and he convinced them to let me back in so we could talk. I just needed to be convinced to go back. My neighbor (brothers best friend) convinced me to go back home and talk. We talked and now im home, but I don't know if its only tonight, or if I'll actually be here for another year or so.
My mom got mad and I got thrown out because of how my hair is done today. I got a hair cut, and they cut it a little to short. So, I made a small mohawk. She was for somereason offended by it and wanted me to change. I told her I wouldn't change because I don't want to be like other people. This is who I am. I don't care what others think of me. She got mad and thats when I was thrown out.
We talked and I told that if I do change, it will take a long time for it to happen, and I wouldn't be able to do it alone. I would need their help. I've been this person for so long, I can't do it alone. I do need to change some things I do, I realize that, but there are some things I want to stay the same. They don't though. They want me to completely change who I am. If I do what they say, I will no longer know who the hell I am anymore. I will become a stranger to myself, and everyone around me. I will no longer know my place in life, nor will I know my place in other people's lives.
I'm just hoping that they decide to let me keep somethings the same, so that I don't lead a completly miserable life, for the rest of my life.
I just don't know what to do anymore. My family hates me. I honestly don't know if this even is my family any more. I just feel so out of place that I could just die, but I won't. I'm not a person who will just die. I will never be that person. I will never want to die. No longer will I ever ask myself why im still alive. Screw that shit. Go to hell. FUCK OF PEOPLE OF CHANGE!!! Whatever that means. |
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| SWEET TIME |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|12:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Phantom 51- Phantom 51 | ] |
So I went to this show that a friend of mine (David) was throwing. His band was playing, and so were a couple others. The show was kick ass. They did fucking awsome. They get better and better everytime I see them. Dave is also starting to get better at the drums now. He used to suck ass. Now he can keep a beat pretty damn nicely.
This other band was also there. May's End. They played acustic for the first time there. They were of the hook. I don't think I've ever heard a band play that good live in my life so far. I've seen plenty of shows, and this was one of the best. Next time something goes down, I'll let you all know. I can give you rides if needed. Can only 4 people in my car so first come first serve BITCHES!!!. |
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| NICE SHIT!!!!! |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|11:38 pm] |
So I worked for the Homeland Security for about a month and then got laid off. Never was given a reason for it. I went back there a couple days ago just to visit a few friends of mine, and saw nothing but guys getting high.
Makes me wish I still worked over there. I could get high all I wanted, and never get in trouble. |
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| Holy Shit!!! |
[Nov. 28th, 2004|12:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Long Time | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Green Day (fav band) | ] |
Holy shit its been a long time since I've written in here. Last time was August, and it sucked ass.
Life right now sux major anus. College is the worst thing cause im not with any of my friends. Once in a while I'll run into someone I graduated with and talk for like, half an hour, but that pretty rare. Last time it happened was last month.
I've really gotten into the whole street racing thing, but my car sux ass right now so I can't race much at all. I have finally started getting out more, but its still not enough. I want to be able to go out somewhere every day. I wish I could go to parties every night, and not only on the twice a week.
I've gone through 3 jobs in the past 6 months. The first one I quit, and the others I got laid off for reasons I still don't know of. The gov't blows.
FUCK THE GOV'T!!! |
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| I think my life sux right now |
[Aug. 11th, 2004|11:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Evan Essance - My Immorital (good song) | ] |
So here is how it is right now:
1)I havent had any sex since December
2)I haven't had a girl friend since January
3)I haven't made out with anyone since January
4)I haven't even had anything close to a date since January
4)my car broke down at 2:00a.m. on Sunday
5)I've been in my house for 3 days doing nothing but playing PS2
6)my life sux
I've been trying to find a date for quite some time now, but nothings seems to work out for me. I'm either just to shy to approach the girl, ir she just isn't what im looking for. There is this one girl that I've had a thing for for a really long time. You know who you are. My time will come sooner or later. I'm hoping for sooner, much much sooner.
Also, my friend got me thinking about buying myself a rubber pussy from one of those sex shops on Ventura Blvd. I think I might do it. He says it feels like the real thing. If anyone has tried a rubber pussy, let me know what it feels like so I can decide. |
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| Cool (I think) |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|09:13 pm] |
|
So I went out last night with a few friends of mine to a huka bar. I go to those places sometimes times cuz its fun to smoke them. Anyway, there was a girle with us that I had never meet before, and we ended up makingout the whole time. We made out until about 4:00a.m. I woke up this morning with a hiki on my neck. Didn't want one of those, but what can I do now. Anyway, the only problem is that I don't really like her, and am not sure how it all even happened. Chances are we will never see eachother again cuz we just meet at the bar. Ohh well. |
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| Cool |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|09:13 pm] |
|
So I went out last night with a few friends of mine to a huka bar. I go to those places sometimes times cuz its fun to smoke them. Anyway, there was a girle with us that I had never meet before, and we ended up makingout the whole time. We made out until about 4:00a.m. I woke up this morning with a hiki on my neck. Didn't want one of those, but what can I do now. Anyway, the only problem is that I don't really like her, and am not sure how it all even happened. Chances are we will never see eachother again cuz we just meet at the bar. Ohh well. |
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| This Sux |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|12:51 pm] |
My ex is obviously still in love with me. I have already told her that she has no chance of being with me ever again in the feutur. Her boyfriend for somereason wants to beat the shit out of me, and I don't know why. He's always with about eight guys, and carries a knife with him everywhere he goes. I guess im in deep shit now. What I don't understand is that she keeps calling me, warning me about when he will be coming over to beat me, and about how many guys he will have with him. She says she really doesn't want me getting hurt.
Sometimes I just done't understand girls. One minute they hate you. The next, they're trying to protect you from something bad. If anyone has advice, let me know please. |
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| life |
[Apr. 6th, 2004|11:16 pm] |
my life sux.
im at work.
making money isn't really fun.
when your cleaning after kids.
and they spit into your face.
I need to get laid or im guna go and die. |
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